I Am Go-eeng to Fack You Up

To all de playah haters and ho’s of Liberty City

I am new to dis country and have met some really intelesting peoples in Liberty City, but I am not likeeng all deese playah haters and ho’s, always getting in my face when I am helpin couseen with his troubles. I don’t want to run over nobody and don’t want to bust no caps in no asses, but if you mess with couseen Roman, I am going to have to fack you up.

I am chaseeng amereecan dream, ok? And in dis dream, people are parkeeng expensive cars in sheety neighbourhoods, cops stop chasing me after a few blocks, and bitches with electreecal tape x’s over their neeples give to me 100 dollar lap dances. Dis is all I want. Oh…and 2 televeesion channels.

Is not much to ask, ees it? No. So why are you matherfacker’s always geteeng in my shit? Are you eenjoying yourselves?!? Fack you, you matherfackers! My black homies will hook me up with de goods, then I am taking heliocopter ride with my special juicer friend to your apartment, and then I’ll rip your fackeeng heart out! aaaAAAAAArrrggh!


Niko Bellic

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GTAIV and Niko Bellic © Rockstar Games


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